Attendant Responsibilities
Most attendants will host pre-wedding parties for the bride and groom: a bridal shower given by the maid of honour and bridesmaids; a bachelor party thrown by the groomsmen. Even though they might be invited to other parties in your honour, one shower gift, in addition to a wedding gift, is all that is expected. In return, the bride and groom should give their attendants small gifts shortly before the wedding (during the rehearsal dinner is a good time) to show their appreciation.
While responsibilities will differ for each attendant, typically all members of the wedding party pay for their own travel expenses and attire. The bride's attendants are expected to purchase the dress, shoes, and accessories that the bride selects. Groomsmen pay rental costs for their formal wear. Of course, the attendants should try to attend every pre-wedding party and certainly should be present at the rehearsal and the dinner that follows it. Here are the specific responsibilities for each role.
Maid or Matron of Honour
Out of all her attendants, the bride relies most heavily on her honour attendant. Traditionally, the maid of honour is the bride's closest sister or friend. A married honour attendant is referred to as a matron of honour. In cases where a bride chooses to have both a maid and a matron of honour, the maid of honour's role takes precedence during the ceremony.
Before the wedding, the maid of honour's duties include coordinating the bridesmaids' activities, such as meeting for a dress fitting and organizing the bridal shower. She also helps the bride with any preparatory errands or tasks, like addressing the invitations and keeping records of all the gifts.
On the wedding day, the maid of honour helps the bride dress and accompanies her to the ceremony. She signs the marriage license as the bride's witness, arranges her veil and train during the processional and recessional and holds her bouquet at the altar. At the reception, she dances with the best man and organizes the bridesmaids for formal pictures. Before the couple leaves for their honeymoon, she helps the bride change and makes certain her dress and bouquet are preserved afterwards.
Bridesmaids
You may choose as few or as many bridesmaids as you wish to be in your wedding (although generally 12 is the limit). Bridesmaids can be single or married and of any age, although girls between the ages of 8 and 16 become junior bridesmaids and receive abridged responsibilities. The main role of a bridesmaid is to assist the maid of honour with her wedding planning duties - especially the bridal shower and to help the bride as needed. Of course, bridesmaids walk in the processional and recessional. During the reception, they mostly mingle, dance with the groomsmen and other important guests, and encourage single girls to participate in the bouquet toss.
Flower Girl
The flower girl is usually between the ages of four and eight, depending on her level of maturity. During the processional, she walks ahead of the bride, scattering flower petals in her path or simply carrying a pretty bouquet. She should also be included in the wedding rehearsal so that she is comfortable with her role. Her parents are expected to pay for her attire and arrange for transportation.
Best Man
Like the maid of honour to the bride, the best man is the groom's biggest source of support. Generally, he is the groom's brother or best friend, and he can be married or single.
The best man's main role before the wedding is to organize the bachelor party. He helps coordinate the groomsmen's formal-wear fitting, picks up the groom's attire before the wedding, orchestrates the toasts at the rehearsal party, and confirms the honeymoon travel reservations the day before.
On the day of the wedding, the best man makes sure the groom gets to the ceremony site on time. He brings the bride's ring or both rings, holds the officiant's fee until after the ceremony, and signs the marriage license as the groom's witness. Afterward, he organizes the groomsmen for formal pictures, dances with the maid of honour, and orchestrates the toasts during the reception.
Finally, he makes sure the get-away car is ready, with the couple's luggage inside. After the celebration, he sees that all rented formal wear is returned.
Groomsmen
The groomsmen have very few responsibilities before the wedding. Mainly, they plan and host the bachelor party with the best man. Of course, they should periodically check with the groom and best man to see if they need any help.
On the wedding day, the groomsmen need to arrive early and promptly at the ceremony site, ready to greet and seat guests as they arrive - unless specific ushers are being used. Any special seating arrangements should be communicated to the groomsmen ahead of time. When a female guest arrives, a groomsman should offer her his right arm and escort her to her seat, with her date or spouse following behind. Male guests may simply be led. If the bride's mother or the groom's parents won't be in the processional, groomsmen should seat them just before the ceremony begins (the bride's mother is always seated last).
Ring Bearer
The ring bearer is traditionally a boy who carries the wedding rings on a satin pillow (or symbolic rings, with the real rings being held by the honour attendants) down the aisle towards the alter or huppah. The maid of honour and best man take the appropriate rings off the pillow (you might want to tie them on with an attached ribbon for safekeeping) and give them to the bride and groom. Like the flower girl, the ring bearer's parents pay for his attire and arrange for his transportation.