Who to ask, who to ask!

In the past, it was often expected that engaged couples would include family members (siblings, cousins) in their wedding parties. Today, though, they're more inclined to base their decisions on close friendships. You might ask your sister to be your maid of honour, your college friends to be bridesmaids. Or maybe you'd rather have your mother as your maid of honour, the groom's father as the best man. What's most relevant is that the people you choose are important to both of you.
In some cases, couples may feel pressure to include a certain relative or friend in the wedding party that they don't really want. Weigh your options carefully. Can you solve the problem instead by asking those individuals to do a reading during the ceremony? Choosing someone because you're afraid of hurt feelings is not a good reason, but if the alternative will cause more trouble, it might just be worth it.
The size of your wedding party will depend somewhat on the size and style of your wedding. If you're having a large formal wedding, you'll probably want a traditional wedding party with ushers, bridesmaids and honour attendants. If you're having a more intimate affair, you may not feel comfortable with a full entourage. Contrary to popular belief, you and your fiancé need not have an equal number of attendants and it's perfectly acceptable to have an opposite-sex attendant if you wish.

Once you've announced your engagement and you and your fiancé have settled on who you'd like to have in your wedding party, it's time to post the question. Of course, the bride should do the asking for the bridal party, the groom for the groomsmen. If you're having a long or indefinite engagement, however, you might prefer to wait until the wedding draws closer to make these arrangements (relationships and lifestyles do change over lengthy periods of time).
Inviting someone to be in your wedding party is an honour and the people you ask will be touched. But since being in a wedding party also requires a commitment of time and money, you need to be up front about what you expect. Explain the costs involved, such as attire and travel, and outline each attendant's duties. Most important, remember that your attendants will be helping you out by participating and they need to be asked accordingly. Instead of saying, "I've decided that you'll be a bridesmaid," you might say, "Would you like to be a bridesmaid in my wedding? Your presence would mean a lot to me."